“The Ridicule of the Century…”

…so said the daily sports paper most associated with Real Madrid, following los blancos midweek 4-0 loss to third division Alcorcon. Other comments from the daily papers included:

“…it was an embarrassment of historic proportions.” – AS

“Alcorcon made Madrid look ridiculous.” – El Mundo Deportivo

“…one of the most humiliating defeats in their history.” – Sport

“Alcorcongate” – Marca

Mostly, Madrid Uno likes to write only about the good things going on in the city, but mini dramas like this should be noted too. Real was the club M1 was immediately told to support by the first friends he made on arrival here and supporting the team has provided a proper insight into what it ‘is’ to be a madrileño – as well as providing many excuses to go out and share a beer. Hopefully, last night will be as bad as it will get. M1 does enjoy the midweek pub meet but since Real fans don’t do humiliation well, it’s likely to be a while before everyone’s stable enough to enjoy a match. hay k ver.

Hail The Messiah – Ronaldo Makes First Appearance in Madrid

Despite being a very naughty boy in California during the summer break, Cristiano Ronaldo was welcomed to Madrid today in the manner of a messiah, with an estimated 80,000 fans packing the Santiago Bernabeu to catch their first glimpse of the Portuguese superstar football player.

The local TV news proudly reported that this number of fans turning up just for a player unveiling was a world record, beating even the welcoming of Maradona (dirty Argie cheat) to Napoli in 1984.

Frankly, this is madness, and also seems a bit desperate. Yes, it was a torrid 2008/09 season, having to watch Barca win the ‘Triple’  and, yes, we have had two weeks of absolutely scorchio weather that has made even grizzled Manchego farmers complain of being hot, but 80,000 people, waiting up to 3 hours, just to see a bloke strut down a catwalk and give a press conference? Lunacy.

The madness was even affecting the club physio who stated he was ‘amazed’ at Cristiano’s condition and that the player has “an extraordinary cardiac and lung capacity.” Riiiiiight. Whatever.

Florentino Pérez, the Real Madrid president and architect of the Ronaldo and Kaká transfers, looked on at the proceedings with a smile a kilometer wide. Let’s hope that smile is still there halfway through next season. He’s called in some serious financial favours to fund these acquisitions and he desperately needs them to pay off. He’s already started trying to cover his back by calling for a new Euro Super League only for big clubs in order to guarantee them sufficient revenues.

Real Madrid Finally Capture Ronaldo

New Real Madrid president Perez has captured his second Ballon D’Or player in one week, this time paying £80 million for Man Utd’s Ronaldo. Added to the estimated £57 million the football club paid AC Milan for Kaka it’s been quite an expensive week.

A Madrid statement read: “Real Madrid confirm they have made an offer to Manchester United for the acquisition of the rights of the player Cristiano Ronaldo . The club hope to reach an agreement with the player in the next few days.”

Last year, Scotch misery guts Ferguson had insisted that he “wouldn’t sell a virus to that mob” when asked about selling Ronaldo to Real. Maybe the swine flu pandemic announced by the WHO has changed his mind. Whatever the reason, Real have been given until 30th June to settle personal terms with the player and if all that goes OK, the step-over king will be on his way to the Bernabeu. Reaction in the city is generally positive although some wonder if he’ll get distracted by all the pretty girls and other distractions in the city that never sleeps. Still, La Liga 2009/10 is already shaping up nicely. Now what can Barca bring to the table in response?

Kaka Belongs to Real Madrid

Tonight, the Real Madrid website has announced that the 27 year old Brazilian football star Kaka has been sold from AC Milan and that he has agreed a six-year contract to come to Spain and play at the Bernabeu.

A statement on the Milan website read: “From next season, Kaka will play at Real Madrid… It will be very difficult to fill the void that will be left by Kaka, a shining example of commitment and professionalism. AC Milan, on behalf of the the managers, players and supporters of the Rossoneri, offer him the most cordial and affectionate wishes for continuation of his sporting career.”

The transfer fee is reputed to be approximately £57 million, which would be  world record.

The announcement on the English part of Real Madrid’s website read: “Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite, Kaka, now plays for Real Madrid following the deal reached with A.C. Milan. The Brazilian footballer satisfactorily passed a full medical checkup. Kaka has signed a contract linking him to Real Madrid for the next six seasons.”

Kaka is a great striker and goal provider, but he brings something more. He is a marketing dream. Clean cut and handsome his religious faith is well documented. He regularly tithes a portion of his earnings to his church, his favourite book is the Bible, and his favourite band is a gospel rock group called Resgate, “redemption” in Portuguese. Maybe he will be the source of redemption for Real, who desperately need some after a poor year of failure on the pitch and internecine squabbling amongst the ’socios’.

When Brazil won the World Cup in 2002, and again when Milan triumphed in the Champions League final of 2007, Kaka revealed a T-shirt emblazoned with the words: “I belong to Jesus.” Well now, he belongs to Real Madrid as well. Desde Madrid al cielo? Vamos a ver.

Real vs Barca – The Build Up

Since Tuesday, when Chelsea nilled Barcelona away, hopes have been rising in Madrid that maybe, just maybe, Real could put one over the old enemy in Saturday’s second leg of ‘el Clasico’. A win in the Bernabeu would bring Real to within one point of the Catalans with four matches to play. ‘Squeaky bums time’ as someone in football once said.

The default mode of Spanish sports reporting is ‘intense’ but they’ve managed to ratchet it up a few notches . The national and local TV news and radio talk shows have been frothing up the tension all week and yesterday the sports paper AS consisted of 22 pages of Real-Barca, the TV guide and a picture of a semi-naked babe (she thinks 2-1 to Madrid BTW).

Also yesterday, the daily magazine show on TV called España Directo got caught up in the hype – and got caught out. A live report from Nuevos Ministerios was showing a special grand digital screen that has been set up to show text messages sent from Barca and Real fans (or anyone else who wanted to get involved) via something similar to Twitter – A Twitterfall in public as it were. Well, the super enthusiastic reporter was interviewing those responsible for the set-up and then getting vox-pops from people who had stopped to check out the excitement when he turned to the camera and said – OK let’s check out some of the messages. The camera focused on the screen and while there three messages flashed up, one after the other. The first said (and I’m paraphrasing here) ‘Stick it up your arse Barca, go f*** your mothers”, the second was simply “Sex!” and the third was “Eto, f*** off back to Africa and take your CDs with you” (a reference to the fact that many illegal African immigrants sell bootlegged CDs and DVDs on the streets).

They hurriedly cut back to the studio where the host presenter smoothly went on to another item.

Real Put Six Past Betis

Real Madrid sent out an ominous warning ahead of their Tuesday encounter with Liverpool in the Champions League by posting six goals past Real Betis – with all the goals coming in the first half.

This was Real’s ninth win on the trot, making 10 wins from 11, and was achieved against a team that last week had drawn against the previously untouchable Barcelona (spit…). To add to the Madridistas ecstasy, the Catalans were defeated at home for the first time this season in their derby match with Espanyol. Barcelona’s lead in La Liga has been whittled down to 7 points in the space of 14 days and there’s much talk in the pubs and bars that they could be choking – again – although this is probably a case of getting carried away as Barca have been resting key players ahead of Champions League duties and saving the tiny terror Messi from burnout.

Nonetheless, there’s a smile back at the Bernabeu and an even bigger one on the face of Real coach Juande Ramos, who only a few months back was heading ignominiously out of White Hart Lane.

Real Madrid Remains Top Of Rich List

Deloitte’s annual Football Money League was published yesterday with an analysis of football club revenues for the 2007-8 season. It showed Real Madrid, Manchester United and Barcelona retaining their top three positions.

Real Madrid increased revenue 4 per cent to €365.8m, even though commercial revenue fell, and the club is budgeting for €400m in revenue this season.

More details can be found at the Football Economy website.

Wednesday Night Football Action: Real vs Barcelona

With the title wrapped up last Sunday, Real Madrid had one last piece of important business to attend to: the return match of ‘El Clasico’.

For Real, the match turned out to be a minor ‘clasico’. For Barca, a ‘pesadilla’ (nightmare).

First, Raul scored early. He got a lucky bounce but swept the ball beautifully into the net.
Second, Robbben glanced in a header.
Third, Higuain steamed through a now shell-shocked defence and drove the ball past Valdez in goal.
Fourth, Van Nistelrooy (who had literally just been on the pitch just 30 seconds replacing Raul) scored a penalty
Fifth – Casillas makes a phenomenal save from a Messi curler, tipping the ball ’round the post – denying the little Argentine what would have at least been the consolation of being the best goal of the night.

And in between, the men in white played tici-tac one touch football, we had a well-timed thunderstorm at half-time (complete with lightening!) and the fans got a chance to chant the name of all the players.

In the 87th minute Messi did manage to split a high-sitting Real Madrid defense, threading through a gem of a ball to Henry who clipped past Casillas – and the visitors did then press for the remaining five minutes of time played. But they knew the moment had gone and it was all a bit half-hearted. Xabi got himself sent off in the last minute in a fit of pique. Either that or he got temporary tourettes syndrome. ARSE! GIRLS! REAL MADRID! FECK! He got laughed at as he trudged off the pitch.

Real supporters don’t do a lot of singing. It’s one of the first things you notice when you attend a match. But a few ditties were belted out during the game tonight and everyone stayed behind for the champions attenuated lap of honour – mainly attenuated ‘cos of the rain. This domestic season has been a bit of a stroll in the park, so it’s now apparent that the early failure in Europe requires analysis from the manager. Close season has officially started so now come the transfer rumours. Let’s see what happens.

Real Win The League

As predicted last week, Real Madrid won their 31st title this Sunday after beating Osasuna away.

It wasn’t easy. It poured with rain, the team from Pamplona were obdurate and the Madridistas had to fight their way back into the game after a second-half sending off, when defender Fabio Cannavaro was dismissed. This was followed by a Patxi Punal penalty, after centre-back Gabriel Heinze had clearly handled in the area, sending Real 1-0 down.

With only 4 minutes left in the match Dutch winger Arjen Robben equalised, heading in after Gonzalo Higuain whipped a free kick into the area. Then a couple of minutes later the Argentine turned from provider to scorer, striking the winner with a total lash past ‘keeper Ricardo. A worthy goal to finish the season.

With three matches left to play, Real have an unassailable 10-point lead over Villarreal at the top of the table. It is the first time they have won back-to-back league titles since they won five in a row between 1986 and 1990.

La Liga – All Over Bar The Shouting (and Drinking)

That’s it then. Although not mathematically certain, Real should be crowned champions either next week or the week after.

After round 34 of the domestic season of the Primera División, which featured Real at home to Athletic Bilbao and Getafe vs Atlético, Real are now 10 points clear with 4 matches to play.

A three-nil win over Athletic, combined with Champions League distracted Barcelona’s loss to Deportivo, saw a very content Santiago Bernabeu stadium last night. With only four matches left it would require Real to implode spectacularly not to win now. So, not as exciting as last year’s championship win, which was only sealed in the final match, but gratifying nonetheless. Celebrations will be held in Plaza Cibeles as usual and much drinking will be expected but without the hysteria that accompanied last year’s celebrations – which is probably just as well.

Atleti’s mini derby with Getafe ended in a 1-1 draw. The striped one’s are still in the all important 4th position, which would guarantee European football next season, but they’re only 2 points ahead of Racing and Atleti are known for being chokers so it’s still all to play for.